Attorney/Mediators Case Study

Mediators face many challenges in attempting to resolve challenges/disputes between two parties with a fair and reasonable outcome; this meeting of the minds is typically exasperated by heightened emotional tensions, potential distrust, betrayal, anger or any combination of these.

John and Kate were viewed by all as a successful family and couple; John owned a successful business and Kate was a nurse, and considered by John to be the perfect, nurturing mother to their children - unfortunately, they’d grown apart over the last twenty years and were facing divorce.

With a range of tensions, it was difficult for the couple to have an effective conversation about their situation and how to resolve it. Standing on the edge of the proverbial cliff, the couple entered the assigned court room; the assigned mediator, Jane greeted them and after an informal recap of situation, she asked both parties if they’d be willing to use a new tool that she’d been introduced to as a framework for their conversation. Both parties agreed and they began a joint CoreSelf Map with Jane as their guide; questions included: Where are you now? Where would you like to be? What are things you value (e.g., parenting, travel, reading) and how do you practice them? What are thoughts or plans that come to mind? Then they both expanded on the Situation, Strengths, Struggles, and Solutions.

Within 30 minutes, Kate and John found themselves communicating, remembering things they valued individually and jointly ... the initial tension in the room seemed to have dissipated and almost been forgotten for a moment ... there was a slight pause in the room, as the both of them realized they were communicating for a change ...

Both of them had almost forgot Jane was in the room, until she cleared her voice, “It seems like both of you have experienced some insights about your relationship, would to you like me to provide the name of an Advisor who can expand on your work here today utilizing the CoreSelf Map, or do you prefer to continue with the proceeding?

The CoreSelf Mapping process provides a tool that can help to dissipate some of the above emotions, by encouraging each party to slow down and visually separate emotions, values, and plans to arrive at sustainable plans to move forward in difficult situations.