The People at the Table of Our Lives

Practicing Gratitude at this Season of Thanks

Seems like such an easy and yet profound question: Who are the people at the table of your life?

Naturally during the Holiday seasons we shift our focus to the family and friends able to physically participate in the celebration at our table. It’s during this Season of Thanksgiving that we also may pause to reflect on this question: “Who is currently sitting with me at the table of my life?”

There are those that have unexpectedly left our table too soon—and we remain grateful for the times we broke bread together and shared each others’ company. Their presence continues in our lives and at times memories of them leak from our eyes.

And then there are some who have decided that they can’t sit at our table. Their reasons may range from a simple scheduling issue or a dietary constraint to complicated challenges like negative feelings about who has previously been invited, or not, to our table.

The change of seasons provides ample opportunities to nourish the people who do come to sit at our table. While those changes may also make it difficult to watch the leaves fall as winter approaches, continuing to celebrate bright seasonal colors reminds us that those branches will bud soon with new growth. Each person at the table will inevitably experience seasonal change in their own way.

How do we choose the people at our table?

Reflecting on this question can provide remarkable insights and opportunities to gain self knowledge.

We don’t always choose everyone who comes to sit at our table; sometimes an unexpected encounter brings them to our table in unanticipated ways.

Some will choose to have only one table; others may decide to have separate tables for the categories of important people in their lives. Their presence may be role-driven, as in the people at their “professional table,” or purely based on personal preference (the people at their “friends table”); others may be  chosen for their unique gifts or ties to others.

It can be exciting having multiple tables in your life, but let’s return to the original question. Who did you visualize when we asked, “Who are the people at your table?”

Energy-holders at the primary table of your life

To clarify this question ask, “Who are the consistent sources of positive energy in my life?”  Your answer quickly identifies and positions each person at your primary table. When interacting with them you gain vital energy. It may appear as laughter, joy, comfort, acceptance or the simple fact that they get you and you get them, a condition which is known as synergy.

Just as in thermodynamics, the energy of the people at the primary table of your life can change state: One moment they gladly celebrate your achievements; at a different moment they may challenge your ego with their own clever insights. At difficult times, they console you by listening. The energy they bring beautifully changes form as the situation dictates.

Learning more about those at your table today

I host Thanksgiving—for the People at the Table of my Life—to let them know that in this uncertain life there is a table of continuity and certainty.

A few years ago, we recreated 11×17 placemats (Nancy Duarte’s offering) and put them under each plate. We pointed them out to all prior to dinner and let them know that we would each participate (after providing ample time for them to consider what they would like to share). To the left of the placemat entitled “Give Thanks” read:

THANKFUL:
Share a time when you were overwhelmed or overjoyed with gratitude and thanks.

RISK-TAKER:
Share a time when you took a risk, or made an uncomfortable leap into the unknown.

TRANSFORMED:
Share a time when something changed you in a significant way.

The stories that were shared that night were heartfelt, unexpected, and insightful—and reminded each of us that everyone is living their story the best they can. Simply start at one end of the table and continue to the next; don’t let anyone opt out (Yes, we had a young adult try and their contribution surprised even themselves).

It’s important to remember to give thanks to the people at your table and to confirm to them that they both hold and boost your essential life energies.