Real Questions….and Why They Matter


When feeling stuck, it’s human nature to ask: “What will get me out of this tough spot?” Rather than, “What do I already know that will be helpful to me?”  This can happen because we prefer to feel less vulnerable or we don’t take the time to look beyond what is immediately apparent. It is easy to get stuck in these trap or rhetorical questions because the answers keep us confined to where we are, without good options for a clear path forward.

There is power in asking ourselves questions. It allows us to tap into and engage our Internal Observer, or our internal guidance system. But the progress we look for in order to grow both personally and professionally comes only when we ask the right questions—the real questions.

A real question has the power to change the mood that we have found ourselves in when we’re in a difficult spot. It has the power to increase resilience and stability. It has the power to make you ask it and listen to the answer, even if it seems scary. It has the power to help you find the way forward. So, what is a real question? Put simply, it is one that allows the questioner to admit ignorance:

  • I don’t know the answer.
  • I want to know the answer.
  • I am willing to ask the question.
  • I am willing to think about the answer I receive before reacting.

Being able to compose real questions comes easier when you are in a place of Core Alignment—when feelings, thoughts and values are in a harmonious balance or alignment with one another. A process called CoreSelf mapping is how you do it.

CoreSelf Mapping™ is a simple and effective tool for helping people in business or any complex situation connect with their own internal guidance system in the service of moving from conflict to strategy.

The CoreSelf Mapping process engages your Internal Observer as you systematically answer 3 simple, but not always easy, questions: Where am I now? Where do I want to be? And How do I get there?

Reflect on this scenario. “John” finds himself at a crossroads. Professionally, he is responsible for the care and wellbeing of others. Personally, he is in a rut. His own health is suffering. He isn’t exercising, eating right, or sleeping well.

Going step-by-step through the CoreSelf Mapping process, John was able to slow down, allowing time and space for the voice of his internal Observer to emerge—that part of consciousness that is always in the background noticing whether an emerging plan of action is the best choice. As he did the map, he realized that he has expended all his energy in the direction of others and not himself. A real question came to John: Why have I spent my whole life taking care of others before taking care of myself?

Through CoreSelf Mapping and learning what questions to ask in order to make progress, John was able to find his next best step. The real question is the foundation to the mapping process. Finding that next best step is just the first puzzle piece in creating an efficient and effective action plan to help uncover and resolve complex personal and professional situations. 

Now more than ever, many of us are finding ourselves stressed with the uncertainty of our health, our careers, our economic stability, and a path forward.  

In our workshop, Finding Direction in Times of Uncertainty, we’ll lead you on a self-guided CoreSelf mapping session where we break down the steps you can take to unlock your Internal Observer, find the right questions to ask and develop sustainable next steps for your personal and professional goals. So sign up, slow down, trust the map, and question respectfully.